Pativratā

Pativratā · pati-vratā, “the one vowed to her husband”

Pativratā means “one whose vow is her husband”. It is the dharmic ideal of the devoted wife: a woman whose whole life is turned towards her pati (husband). For her, he is her highest dharma, her devatā (the divine form she honours), and her way to moksha (liberation). Pativratā-dharma is the dharma (sacred duty and way of life) of such a wife.

The Dharmāraṇya Khaṇḍa of the Skanda Purāṇa gives a section to this subject. When the questioner Śānata asks, Sūta describes the qualities, conduct and spiritual power of a true pativratā.

The ideal pativratā is compared to the great women of the tradition: Arundhatī, Sāvitrī, Anasūyā, Śāṇḍilī, Satī, Lakshmī, Śatarūpā, Menā, Suvīti, Saṃkhā and Svāhā. Her conduct is described in fine detail. Her spiritual power is said to be greater even than the power of Gāyatrī japa (repetition of the Gāyatrī mantra), and her footsteps are said to turn the earth under them into a holy tīrtha (pilgrimage place). The Mahābhārata‘s Anuśāsana Parva gives another well-known teaching on the same theme, spoken by Umā (Pārvatī) herself.

The Agni Purāṇa speaks of the pativratā in Pushkara‘s teaching to Paraśurāma. She is the one relative who can go with the dead; her obedience to her husband is the model for a servant’s obedience to the king; and the king who keeps dharma must protect pativratās from wicked men and care for those who are widowed.

The Agni Purāṇa gives a short teaching on nārī-dharma (the dharma of women) among Pushkara‘s teachings on the king’s duties: a woman serves the husband to whom her father gave her, keeps the house, worships Lakshmī and the devatās, and keeps vratas to Vishṇu and Sūrya. It names Sāvitrī, who saved her husband from death by the power of her good conduct and her vratas.

The Bhāgavata Purāṇa teaches pativratā-dharma through the lives of the women it calls pativratās. Kaśyapa Prajāpati tells Diti that women who seek their highest good make service of the husband their vrata and see in him Śrī Hari, the ātmā of all; only a pativratā, he says, can reach the state she reached. Devahūti served Kardama Maharshi until she was perfected in pātivratya, and it won her divine bhogas; Arcis followed Pṛthu Mahārāja into the forest and through the fire to the loka he had reached, praised by the wives of the devas; Sukanyā‘s pātivratya pleased the Aśvins; and Śrī Kṛshṇa himself told Rukmiṇī that her pātivratya was proved. The Purāṇa also gives a vrata to Lakshmī-Nārāyaṇa that a pativratā keeps for twelve months, with the husband honoured as Purushottama himself.

In the Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Nārada Maharshi teaches Yudhishṭhira the dharma of the sādhvī, the good wife, and promises that she who serves her husband as Lakshmī serves Śrī Hari rejoices with him in Vaikuṇṭha.

The Bhavishya Purāṇa, in Brahmā‘s teaching on the dharma of women, says that serving their husbands is the root of gṛhastha dharma for women, and that by it they become pativratās. The woman who looks on her husband as daiva in mind, speech, body and act becomes like the half of his body. It names three causes of pātivratya, tells who a wife treats as her own, sets out her care of the house, the stores, the servants and the cattle, her day from waking to rest, her conduct when her husband is away, the way of the neglected wife, the service of pressing the husband’s limbs, and what makes the world trust a woman as a satī or sādhvī. The woman who so honours her husband, it says, gains dharma, artha and kāma and the highest happiness in this world and the next.

Per Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa

The Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa of the Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa explains this ideal in more than one place. The fullest account comes when Sītā argues for her right to go with Rāma into the forest, even though he wants her to stay behind. It comes again near the end of the Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa, when the great tapasvinī (woman of spiritual discipline) Anasūyā teaches Sītā about pativratā dharma. The tradition holds that a true pativratā, by the power of her dharma alone, can do extraordinary things, as Anasūyā herself showed.

Sītā Explains Pativratā

Rāma tried to stop Sītā from coming with him to the forest. He described the hardships of forest life in detail and urged her to stay in Ayodhyā. In her reply, Sītā drew on the full depth of the pativratā ideal. She said:

  • The pati is a woman’s dharma, the very centre of her life and duty
  • The pati is her devatā, the form of the divine she honours above all others
  • The pati is her svarga; wherever he is, that is her highest place
  • What hardship can a wife face in any situation, as long as her husband is with her?
  • The forest with Rāma would be more beautiful and more joyful than Ayodhyā without him
  • A woman who seeks happiness apart from her husband, or leaves him to live in comfort while he suffers, has broken her most basic dharma

Sītā also said that the śāstras (sacred teachings) and the wisdom of the ṛshis all agree on this point: the wife must follow the husband. She gave examples of women all through dharmic history who had followed their husbands into forests and hard conditions. Her arguments were complete, rooted in śāstra, deeply moving, and impossible to answer. Rāma accepted her resolve.

Anasūyā’s Teaching to Sītā

Near the end of the Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa, Rāma, Sītā and Lakshmaṇa came to the āśrama (hermitage) of Atri Maharshi and his wife Anasūyā. The great tapasvinī called Sītā to her and gave her a full teaching on pativratā dharma. Anasūyā was herself the finest example of this dharma. Her tapas (spiritual discipline) as a pativratā had given her extraordinary powers.

Anasūyā taught:

  • The pati is a woman’s deva, whatever his qualities. Whether he is good or harsh, virtuous or flawed, the wife’s dharma towards him does not change with his conduct.
  • The example she gave was Rohiṇī, the most beloved of all the nakshatras (lunar mansions), whose constant faithfulness to Candra (the Moon) is the model of a pativratā.
  • Women who follow this dharma and are devoted to their husbands go to the highest lokas (worlds) after death and win glory even in this life.
  • Women who seek other men or leave their husbands earn shame in this world and suffering in the next.

Sītā received this teaching with great respect. She said that she already understood and lived pativratā dharma, and she spoke of Rāma’s wonderful qualities, which made devotion to him come naturally.

Anasūyā, the Greatest Example

All through the Purāṇic tradition, Anasūyā is honoured as the greatest example of a pativratā. The Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa describes several of the things she did through the power of this dharma:

  • During a drought that lasted ten years, when the earth became barren and the rivers dried up, Anasūyā, by the power of her tapas, created food from nothing and brought the sacred Gaṅgā to the region, bringing it back to life.
  • She performed a cāndrāyaṇa tapas (a discipline in which food is reduced and increased with the phases of the moon) for ten thousand years.
  • She protected the ṛshi-woman Śāṇḍilī from the curse of Māṇḍavya. By the power of her tapas she pressed ten nights into a single night, stopping the sun from rising until a full night had passed.

These extraordinary powers are said to come entirely from the śakti (spiritual power) that grows in a woman through perfect pativratā dharma.

Per Śiva Purāṇa

After the wedding of Śiva and Pārvatī, a brāhmaṇa woman well versed in dharma gave Pārvatī a full teaching on pativratā-dharma before she left her parents’ home.

The teaching describes four kinds of pativratā and their levels of devotion, and explains the conduct and spiritual power of a woman who lives fully by this dharma. It comes in Chapter 54 of the Pārvatī Khaṇḍa. It matters as practical guidance on gṛhastha-dharma (the dharma of family life), and it matters as a larger statement too. Even Pārvatī, who is the Paraśakti herself (the supreme Śakti, above all dharmas), received this teaching with reverence. This shows that pativratā-dharma is not a limit placed on women, but the highest sādhana (spiritual practice) open to them in the gṛhastha āśrama (the householder stage of life).

The Setting

The celebrations of the wedding of Śiva and Pārvatī at the palace of Himavān were coming to an end. It was time for Pārvatī to leave her family home and go with Śiva to Kailāsa. Before she left, the brāhmaṇa women of the household followed the old custom of giving dharma-upadeśa (teaching on dharma) to a departing bride, and formally instructed Pārvatī in pativratā-dharma.

The teaching was given by a senior brāhmaṇa-patnī (wife of a brāhmaṇa), known for her learning and good conduct, who was chosen especially for this. Those with inner vision knew Pārvatī’s true nature. Yet for the sake of the world she was acting fully within laukika-dharma (the customs of ordinary life). She received the teaching with all the respect and attention of a daughter who is leaving home and taking up her new life as a wife.

The Four Kinds of Pativratā

The brāhmaṇa woman described four kinds of pativratā, rising in devotion and in reward:

The first kind (Adhamā, the lowest): She treats her husband well only when he treats her well. Her love depends on conditions, her devotion rises and falls with circumstances, and she serves without inner surrender. She gains a modest amount of merit.

The second kind (Madhyamā, the middle): She serves her husband faithfully in deed and word, does all her household duties with care, and does nothing wrong in outward conduct. But in her inner feeling she has not yet fully seen her husband as sacred. She gains greater merit.

The third kind (Uttamā, the high): She sees her husband as her deva in mind, speech and action. She serves him as an act of pūjā (loving offering and honour) to Parameśvara, keeps his welfare in her mind at all times, and does not let the difference between his good and bad qualities enter her thinking. Her whole being is directed through him. She gains great merit and reaches svarga (the heavenly realm).

The fourth kind (Uttama-uttamā, the highest of all): She completely removes any separation between her husband and the Supreme. She sees in him not just a human being, but Parabrahman in a particular form. Her service is pūjā, her faithfulness is bhakti (loving devotion), and she would not turn aside even if the devas themselves tested her. The power of such a woman reaches through all the worlds. She can curse devas, she purifies all her family lines, her footsteps make the earth holy, and she goes with her husband to Śivaloka. This is the highest place of a pativratā.

Main Teachings on Conduct

Beyond these four kinds, the teaching gave clear guidance on how a pativratā lives:

In service: She rises before her husband and sees to his needs before her own. She prepares what is needed for pūjā and daily observances without being asked. She measures the success of her day by his comfort.

In hardship: Even when her husband is harsh, foolish, sick, poor or away, the pativratā does not waver. Her devotion is not a reward for his good qualities; it is her own dharma and does not depend on how he behaves. A wife who serves only when she is served in return is not a pativratā but a trader.

In her inner attitude: She treats her husband as paramātman (the Supreme Self). Any pūjā, vrata (vow) or sādhana done without his knowledge or against his wishes shortens his āyushya (lifespan). A wife who does her own sādhana without her husband’s consent may gather merit, but at the same time she harms the very person her dharma asks her to protect.

In social life: She does not go alone to social gatherings, tīrthas (pilgrimage places) or festivities. She does not take off her auspicious ornaments except in widowhood. She does not speak her husband’s name aloud, because his name belongs to what is sacred, not to casual talk.

Spiritual Power

The teacher declared the great spiritual power of a woman who lives pativratā-dharma to the full:

  • Wherever her feet touch the earth, that ground becomes a holy tīrtha
  • She purifies nine generations: three of her father’s line, three of her mother’s line, and three of her husband’s line
  • The strength of her pātivratya (faithfulness) can withstand even an attack by a devatā, and a pativratā’s curse against a devatā carries a force that cannot be resisted
  • The power of the Gāyatrī mantra and the puṇya of a hundred yajñas do not equal the purity gained from one lifetime of true pātivratya
  • Śiva, Vishṇu and Brahmā themselves are pleased when a true pativratā lives in a household

How Pārvatī Received the Teaching

Pārvatī received this teaching with full attention and humility, in the manner of a student and not a teacher. This in itself is important. The Paraśakti, who in her highest nature is the mother and sustainer of all dharma, received the teaching on pativratā-dharma with reverence. By doing so she showed the whole world that this dharma does not lower the feminine but raises it up.

The way she received it completed the teaching. Pārvatī was about to become the greatest pativratā of all the worlds, living with Śiva on Kailāsa as his eternal companion. By her openness she showed that she had truly taken on this role, not as a decoration, but as a dharma she would live completely.

Why This Teaching Matters

This episode in the Pārvatī Khaṇḍa carries meaning on several levels.

For Pārvatī herself: She had insisted that the wedding be carried out fully according to laukika-dharma, so that the world would learn from it. Receiving the teaching on pativratā-dharma was the final step in carrying out all these worldly customs. From this point on she is not only the Paraśakti, but also the pativratā.

For the world: The great wedding became the moment when this teaching was passed on to all future brides. Just as it was given to Pārvatī in Himavān‘s home, it became the model for teaching a daughter about pativratā-dharma before she leaves home.

At the deepest level: The teaching shows that pativratā-dharma, at its highest, is not only a social custom. It is a realisation of oneness lived within family life. Seeing Paramātmā in one’s husband is a form of the same jñāna (knowledge of the truth) that the sannyāsī (renunciate) seeks in the forest.

Per Skanda Purāṇa

The Question and Its Occasion

Sūta had just described the sadācāra (good conduct) of a brāhmaṇa householder. Then the questioner Śānata said to him: “O Mahābhāga! O best among those who know all dharma! I have heard from you about the good conduct of householders. I have one wish: tell me today, what are the qualities of all pativratā women?” In reply, Sūta described pativratā-dharma in full.

The Great Pativratās

The pativratā is compared with the great women whose pātivratya (faithfulness to the husband) is beyond all doubt: Arundhatī, Sāvitrī, Anasūyā, Śāṇḍilī, Satī, Lakshmī, Śatarūpā, Menā, Suvīti, Saṃkhā and Svāhā. A true pativratā becomes equal to these great women.

Daily Conduct

The pativratā follows her husband’s actions as if she were his shadow:

  • She eats when he eats, stands when he stands and sleeps when he sleeps; she wakes before he does.
  • When her husband is away in another land, she does not dress up; she takes off all her ornaments.
  • She does not say her husband’s name aloud, so that his āyushya (lifespan) may grow.
  • When struck, even unjustly, she does not weep openly. When beaten, she stays calm. When told to do something, she says “I have done it” or “Whatever you wish.” She answers without aggression.
  • When her husband calls, she leaves all household work at once and goes to him, saying, “O Nātha (my lord and protector)! What is your wish?”
  • She does not linger at the doorway. She never gives away anything that should not be given, at any time or in any amount.
  • She prepares everything needed for pūjā (ritual offering and honour), such as water, darbha grass, flowers and akshata (unbroken rice), on her own, without being told.
  • She eats her husband’s ucchishṭa (leftovers). She keeps away from foods and pleasures that she herself enjoys.
  • She does not go to social gatherings, festivals or entertainments on her own. She does not go on tīrtha-yātrā (pilgrimage) or to weddings without company.
  • She does not sit on a grinding-stone, a pestle, a blade, a whetstone, a millstone or similar tools.
  • She does not show off cleverness or worldly polish outside the proper setting of the home.
  • Her likes follow her husband’s inclinations in everything.

Conduct During Ṛtu-Kāla

During her ṛtu-dharma (monthly period), the pativratā does not show her face for three nights. Until she has bathed and become pure, she does not let her husband hear her voice. After bathing, she looks only at her husband’s face and at no other man. Or else she holds her husband in her heart and looks at the sun.

She honours the auspicious signs of marriage, namely harī-tāmbūla, the blouse, the maṅgalasūtra (marriage necklace) and ornaments, as sacred. She never speaks badly of the ornaments of her hair, hands and ears, because they are linked to her husband’s āyushya.

The Husband as Highest

The pativratā understands that her husband is her deva, her guru, her dharma, her tīrtha and her vrata (vow). So, leaving all else aside, she offers her pūjā to him alone. She does not keep a vrata or upavāsa (fast) on her own without his approval. If she does, it eats away at his āyushya, and at death she goes to naraka (the realm of suffering for wrongdoing). Her service to her husband is declared to be her one and only vrata, dharma and pūjā. Even if her husband is angry with her, or is in hard times, sick, old, foolish or unsteady, she never leaves him and never goes against his word.

The Husband as the Greatest Giver

A father gives within limits; brothers give within limits; sons give within limits. But the husband gives without limit, and so her pūjā of him is declared to be the highest. This is not meant as a trade. It is a statement about the spiritual life of the pativratā: her husband is the centre of her world, and all her spiritual practice flows through her relationship with him.

Conduct of a Vidhavā (Widow)

The text also speaks of the vidhavā (widow):

  • She must not apply oil to her body or take luxurious baths.
  • She must not use fragrant substances.
  • She must be restrained in food.
  • Every day she offers tarpaṇa (water offerings) to her husband in the manner of śrāddha (rites for the departed), naming his gotra (family line), his father and his grandfather.
  • She keeps Vishṇu in her mind, seeing Vishṇu as one with her husband and always meditating on him in this way. She does pūjā of Vishṇu while meditating on her husband.
  • In the months of Vaiśākha and Kārtika she keeps special niyamas (disciplines): snāna (sacred bathing), dāna (giving), tīrtha-yātrā and purāṇa-śravaṇa (listening to the Purāṇas).

The Spiritual Power of Pātivratya

The text declares the great spiritual power of a pativratā:

  • Wherever her feet touch the earth, that ground becomes a holy tīrtha. Her footsteps are no burden to the earth.
  • Sūrya (the sun), Candra (the moon) and the gandharvas (celestial musicians) themselves seek the touch of a pativratā for their own purification, and not otherwise.
  • All kinds of tejas (radiance and power) tremble before her greatness.
  • She enjoys the joy of svarga with her husband for as many years as there are hairs on her body, multiplied by ten thousand crore.
  • The Gāyatrī mantra cannot remove the pāpa (wrongdoing) that pātivratya can destroy.
  • Three generations of her mother’s line, three of her father’s line and three of her husband’s line, nine generations in all, reach svarga (the heavenly realm) through her merit.

In contrast, a woman of bad conduct and broken śīla (character) causes the downfall of three families, her father’s, her mother’s and her husband’s, and brings suffering in this world and the next.

The Pativratā and the Household

A household that has a pativratā is said to be truly alive. Just as a body without a jīva (soul) at once becomes impure, a woman without her husband (a vidhavā) is always said to be aśuci (impure), however much she bathes. The pativratā, in contrast, purifies the household as the Gaṅgā purifies those who bathe in her. A man with a pativratā wife in his house is called a true gṛhastha (householder). Both this world and the next depend on the wife. When the wife is present, the household can honour the devas, the pitṛs (ancestors) and atithis (guests).

Per Mahābhārata

Umā’s Teaching on Strī-Dharma

A special and well-loved account of strī-dharma (the dharma of women) appears in Chapter 146 of the Anuśāsana Parva, within the Umā-Maheśvara Saṃvāda (the conversation between Umā and Maheśvara, that is, Pārvatī and Śiva). Here the usual roles are turned around. Śiva has spent five chapters teaching Umā the whole of dharma. Now he asks Umā to teach him strī-dharma.

Śiva notes that she takes counsel every day with the great pativratās:

He adds that she, as his sahadharmacāriṇī (partner in dharma) and his equal in tapas (spiritual discipline) and śakti (power), is uniquely fit to answer.

In a spirit of shared humility, Umā first turns the question over to the sacred rivers, present there in person: Gaṅgā and ten others, namely Sarasvatī, Vipāśā, Vitastā, Candrabhāgā, Irāvatī, Śatadru, Devikā, Sindhu, Kauśikī and Gautamī. They in turn hand the question back to her as the one best able to answer. She then gives the teaching herself:

  • Marriage is entered into before the sacred fire. A wife of good conduct, sweet speech and undivided mind becomes her husband’s sahadharmacāriṇī.
  • The wife always regards her husband as her deva (pati-devatā-bhāva). She serves him as one serves the devas, without using any vaśīkaraṇa-tantra (charm for controlling another). She keeps a pleasant face even when treated harshly. She never regards any other male being as a purusha (man), not the sun, not the moon, not even a tree.
  • She cares for a poor or sick husband as a mother cares for her son. She runs the household: sweeping, decorating with cow-dung, and performing the agnihotra (daily fire offering) together with her husband. She feeds the devas, guests and servants before herself. She honours her husband’s parents by washing their feet, and she supports those in the household who are in need.
  • The central statement of the teaching, as the text gives it: “pathitraye striyāḷaku daivamu, bandhuvu, gati – atanito samamaina daivamugāni, gaticāni marokati lēdu”, meaning “for women, the husband alone is deva, family and refuge; there is none equal to him.” The husband’s happiness is the wife’s svarga; nothing else equals it.
  • Even an akārya (improper) or adharma (wrong) command, even one that puts her own life in danger, must be obeyed if it comes from the husband. The Anuśāsana Parva notes the accepted exception of āpad-dharma: times of extreme distress, when ordinary rules may be set aside.

Śiva was delighted and praised Umā’s teaching. He then sent the whole great gathering, the bhūta-gaṇas (Śiva’s attendants), the rivers, the gandharvas and the apsarās (celestial dancers), back to their own homes.

This account stands out because it places strī-dharma within a circle of women’s shared authority. Umā consults the rivers before answering, rather than the teaching coming only from a male teacher with authority, as it does in the Skanda Purāṇa account above and in the Vishṇu Dharmottara Purāṇa. The Vishṇu Dharmottara Purāṇa gives a closely related teaching on strī-dharma.

Per Agni Purāṇa

In the Agni Purāṇa, Agni Deva tells Vasishṭha Maharshi the teachings that Pushkara gave Paraśurāma. The pativratā appears in them four times.

The one who goes with the dead

In the teaching on the purification of those who have died, Pushkara says that, knowing that all in the world must die some day, one should practise dharma, which will truly stand by one as a helper. Except a pativratā wife, no relative can die for the dead and go with him. The path to Yamaloka is separate for each one. Dharma alone is the one companion who goes with the jīva wherever he goes (Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 159).

The model of obedience

In the conduct of those who live in the king’s service, Pushkara teaches that a servant should obey the king’s command as a disciple obeys his guru’s command, and as a pativratā obeys her husband’s command (Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 221).

The king’s protection of pativratās

If a brāhmaṇa woman has to weep because of an adharma done by the king, his kingdom, his line and everything he has is destroyed. Therefore the king devoted to dharma should give good protection to pativratās (Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 222).

One sixth of the puṇya and pāpa of the people belongs to the king. It is dharma, Pushkara says, to protect pativratās from wicked men who lust after the wives of others. In the same way the king must protect pativratā women who have become widows, and women who are diseased. If, while such women are alive, any relative of theirs takes away their wealth, the king must punish him, keeping the protection of the people always before his eyes (Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 223).

The dharma of women

In the Agni Purāṇa, Agni Deva tells Vasishṭha Maharshi the teachings that Pushkara gave Paraśurāma on the duties of a king. After the fort, the king’s protection from poison, his duties toward the devatās and temples, and the protection of brāhmaṇas and pativratās, Pushkara gives the nārī-dharma, the dharma of women:

  • A woman should be skilled in the work of the home and contented.
  • She should keep all things in the house clean.
  • She should be restrained in spending.
  • The man to whom her father gives her as a maiden is her pati (husband). She should always serve him alone.
  • She should not live in the houses of others, and should keep far from quarrels.
  • When her husband is in a far country she should not adorn herself. Always wishing for his welfare, she should keep up the pūjā of the devatās. Only for maṅgala (auspiciousness), as a sign of saubhāgya (the blessed married state), she should wear two or three ornaments.
  • Worshipping Lakshmī and keeping the house clean are a woman’s duty.
  • On Kārtika dvādaśī (the twelfth lunar day of Kārtika) she should worship Bhagavān Vishṇu and give a cow with its calf.

Pushkara gives the phala (fruit) of this dharma as the text gives it:

  • A woman who keeps brahmacarya after her husband’s death goes to svarga.
  • A woman who enters the fire on her dead husband’s pyre also reaches svarga.
  • Sāvitrī, by the power of her sadācāra (good conduct) and her vratas, was able to save her husband from death.
  • A woman who worships Sūrya on Mārgaśira śukla saptamī (the seventh day of the bright fortnight of Mārgaśira) obtains sons. Of this there is no doubt at all.

Source: Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 222

Per Bhāgavata Purāṇa

The dharma of the sādhvī

In the seventh Skandha, Śuka tells Parīkshit how Nārada Maharshi taught Yudhishṭhira the sanātana dharma he had heard from the mouth of Nārāyaṇa, and in it the dharma of women. For women, Nārada said, the husband is the deity. Serving the husband, being agreeable to him, serving his relatives and keeping his rules at all times are the dharmas of women.

The sādhvī, the good wife, staying in the house, should sweep it, sprinkle fragrant things and draw raṅgavallīs. Every day she should adorn herself and keep the things of the house clean. With humility she should fulfil her husband’s wishes, small and large, and, self-controlled, serve him lovingly at the proper times with true words that are pleasant to hear. She should be content with what she gets and free of strong attachment to anything; capable, knowing dharma, speaking the truth pleasantly, attentive, and clean outside and inside. If her husband is not fallen (patita), she should serve him with love.

The phala: the woman who serves her husband with the bhāvanā that he is Śrī Hari himself, as Lakshmī Devī, whose one goal is Śrī Hari, serves Śrī Hari, rejoices like Lakshmī Devī in Vaikuṇṭha, the loka of Śrī Hari, together with her husband in the form of Śrī Hari.

Source: Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 7, Chapter 11

Kaśyapa’s teaching to Diti

Śuka Maharshi tells Parīkshit how Diti, wishing for a son who would humble Indra, served her husband Kaśyapa Prajāpati with love and humility, self-controlled, ever doing what was dear to him and knowing his inner wishes. Pleased, Kaśyapa offered her a vara and taught her: “When the husband is pleased, what is there in this world that a woman cannot obtain? The smṛti-kāras have said that for women the husband is the great deity. Vāsudeva, the husband of Lakshmī, dwells as the ātmā in the hearts of all beings. People worship that same Śrī Hari in the forms of devatā-mūrtis known by many names and forms; women worship Śrī Hari in the form of the husband. That is why women who seek their good, which is moksha, take service of the husband as their vrata and serve him with single-minded love, seeing in him Śrī Hari, who dwells as the ātmā in all beings. You have worshipped me with such love and bhakti, so I will fulfil your wish. Women who are not pativratās cannot reach such a state” (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 6, Chapter 18).

The vrata of the pativratā

At Parīkshit‘s request, Śuka tells him the Puṃsavana vrata, by which Bhagavān Vishṇu is pleased. A woman begins it with her husband’s leave on Mārgaśīrsha śukla pratipadā, after hearing the account of the birth of the Maruts and receiving the leave of the Veda-knowers. Each day she bathes, wears two white cloths, adorns herself and, before the morning meal, worships Śrī Hari and Lakshmī Devī, the givers of varas, makes sāshṭāṅga namaskāra, does japa of the mantra ten times and recites the stotra to them both: “You two are the masters of the world (jagatprabhus), its cause and beyond it.” After the pūjā she smells the havis remaining from the yajña, worships Śrī Hari again, and worships her husband too, knowing him to be Purushottama himself. The husband, loving in his turn, gives his wife what is dear to her and helps her in all her tasks, small and great. Whichever of the two keeps the vrata, the fruit comes to both, and if the wife cannot, the husband keeps it with a concentrated mind. The vrata must never be broken; every day the Veda-knowers, suvāsinī women (women whose husbands live) and Śrī Hari are honoured with garlands, gandha, food and ornaments, and after sending Śrī Hari back to his dhāma she first eats the prasāda of the naivedya.

A pativratā keeps this pūjā for the twelve months of a year that has no adhikamāsa (intercalary month), and fasts on the Kārtika amāvāsyā. The next morning the husband bathes, worships Śrī Hari as before, and offers twelve āhutis (oblations) of pāyasa with ghee by the sthālīpāka method. They bow to the satisfied Veda-knowers, receive their blessings and eat with their leave, and the husband, keeping silence before the ācārya with his relatives, gives his wife the pāyasa left from the homa; by that prasāda come good offspring and saubhāgya. The phalaśruti: a man who keeps this Vishṇu-vrata by rule gains the aim he desires; a woman gains saubhāgya, wealth, offspring, long life for her husband, fame and a home of her own; a maiden gains a husband with every good mark; a woman without offspring (or, as the bracket reads, without a husband) is freed of every fault and gains a puṇya-loka; a woman whose children have died gains children of long life and prosperity; an unfortunate woman gains good fortune; a young woman lacking beauty gains great beauty; and a sick man is freed of his illness and gains a strong body with keen senses. Recited at rites for prosperity such as yajña and dāna, it gives the pitṛs endless satisfaction, and when the homa is complete the pitṛs, Śrī Hari and Lakshmī Devī, pleased, grant every wish (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 6, Chapter 19).

Devahūti

Maitreya tells Vidura that after her parents left, the pativratā Devahūti served Kardama Maharshi every day with love, knowing his unspoken wishes, as Devī Pārvatī serves Bhagavān Śiva. She had trust, purity of heart, respect, mastery of the senses, the spirit of service, love and sweet speech; she gave up desire, show, hatred, greed, pāpa and arrogance. To the daughter of Manu her husband was greater than daiva, and through her long vratas she had grown thin. Kardama, filled with compassion, said: “Your service and your bhakti have pleased me. The vibhūtis I gained by tapas, dhyāna and upāsanā, in whose divine bhogas there is neither fear nor grief, are now in your power too, since you have served me without break. You have become perfected in the dharma of pātivratya; that dharma will win you divine bhogas, which men proud of wealth and power cannot gain.” Devahūti answered that for pativratās the great gain is a child by an excellent husband, and Kardama by his yoga-śakti made a vimāna that moved wherever they wished. Later, when he was ready to take sannyāsa, that beautiful pativratā, holding back her tears and keeping the smile on her face, asked him for a son to console her (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 3, Chapter 23).

Arcis, who followed Pṛthu

Maitreya tells Vidura that Arcis, the queen of Pṛthu Mahārāja, so delicate she could not set foot on the ground, went with him to the forest and served him while he kept his vows, growing thin on the food and ways of the maharshis, yet feeling only joy when he touched her with his hand. When she saw that the prāṇa had left the body of her beloved husband, the pativratā Arcis placed it on a pyre on a ridge of Mount Mandara. She performed the cremation, bathed in the river, offered water for her husband, bowed to the devatās of svarga, went round the fire three times and, remembering only her husband’s feet, entered it.

The wives of the devas, in their thousands, with their husbands, saw the pativratā who had followed her husband, rained flowers on that ridge while the deva-dundubhis sounded, and praised her: “This pativratā is blessed. As the pativratā Lakshmī Devī serves Śrī Hari, the Yajñeśvara, so she served her husband, the king of kings, in mind, speech and body. By the wondrous karma of service to her husband she is passing beyond us to the higher lokas.” While they praised her, the pativratā reached the loka her husband had reached, the highest loka of Pṛthu, whose mind was fixed on Acyuta Śrī Hari (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 4, Chapter 23).

Sukanyā

Sukanyā, the daughter of King Śaryāti, was married to Cyavana Maharshi, who was very quick to anger; but she knew his mind, was attentive, served him in the ways that suited him and gave him joy. When the Aśvins, the great physicians, gave Cyavana youth in a lake made by the siddhas, three men of the same beautiful form rose from it, shining like the sun, and that pativratā could not tell which was her husband. She took refuge in the Aśvins themselves, and they, pleased with Sukanyā’s pātivratya, showed her her husband and went to svarga. When Śaryāti later saw a young man beside her and took him for a paramour, Sukanyā, smiling, told him: “Father, this is your son-in-law, Cyavana himself, the son of Bhṛgu” (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 9, Chapter 3).

Other pativratās

The Purāṇa gives the name to other wives in their hour of need. Kṛtadyuti, the great queen of King Citraketu, a pativratā, wept when she saw her husband filled with grief beside the body of their only son (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 6, Chapter 14). The wives of the serpent Kāliya, pativratās, set their children before them, made full prostration to Śrī Kṛshṇa and took refuge in him with joined palms, praying that their husband be freed from punishment (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 10, Chapter 16). Yaśodā, a pativratā and most fortunate, embraced Śrī Kṛshṇa when he came safe out of the Kāliya pool, sat him on her lap and shed tears again and again (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 10, Chapter 17).

Śrī Kṛshṇa’s words to the gopīs

When the gopīs came to Śrī Kṛshṇa in the forest on that night, he first told them: “O pativratās, go back to Gokula without delay. Serve your husbands. The children and the calves are crying for milk: feed them, and milk the cows. For women the highest dharma is to serve the husband and his kinsmen without deceit and to nourish the children” (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 10, Chapter 29).

Rukmiṇī, the pativratā proved

Once, in her palace, Śrī Kṛshṇa spoke to Rukmiṇī in jest: great kings had sought her, and why had she chosen him, who had taken refuge in the ocean, who had nothing and no attachment; even now she might serve a king fit for her. He said this only to remove her pride, for she thought herself dearer to him than all others. Rukmiṇī, who did not know the depth of his jest, stood with her head bowed, writing on the ground with her toe; the cāmara fell from her hand, her knot of hair came loose, and she sank to the ground like a plantain tree blown down by the wind. She was a pativratā who knew no other refuge. Śrī Hari at once appeared with four arms, lifted her, tied up her hair, wiped her face and consoled her with compassion, and she answered each of his words, showing that he is Parabrahma and that her heart was his alone.

Then Śrī Kṛshṇa said: “O princess, you are a pativratā. We jested with you only to hear these words from your mouth, and every word of your answer is true. Desires turned to me give moksha; they do not bind. Your love for me, your husband, and your pātivratya are both proved, for even when I unsettled you, your mind was not drawn from me. As queen of the house you have served me without break, and such service frees one from the bondage of saṃsāra. In all the houses I find no housewife with love like yours. By that love of yours I have been won” (Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 10, Chapter 60).

Per Bhavishya Purāṇa

Sumantu Muni tells King Śatānīka the teaching that Brahmā gave on the conduct of women, which the ṛshis heard from him. It runs through the Brahma Parva, Chapters 8 to 15. At the close of his teaching on the gṛhastha, Brahmā says that for women, serving their husbands is the root of gṛhastha dharma, and that by it they become pativratās (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapters 9, 16). The whole teaching on the dharma of women is told under Strī Dharma.

Three causes of pātivratya

In general there are three causes of women’s pātivratya: no love for other men, love for her own husband, and her own protection.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 8

Those she treats as her own

A woman should act according to her husband’s mind. His mother, father, sister, brother, father’s brother, the ācārya, the maternal uncle, her co-wife, the husband’s sibling, the husband, his parents’ siblings, the nurse, old women and the like are like āptas (one’s own people).

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 10

The husband as daiva

The woman who looks on her husband as daiva in mind, speech, body and act becomes like the half of his body and always does him good. She holds what he loves as dear to her too, and what he dislikes as to be disliked by her too, and by this improper action arising from adharma and useless works is prevented in him. She behaves without negligence towards all the servants. In the deva karmas and pitṛ karmas, in the husband’s bath and meals, and in the honour shown to guests she must never fail to act in the fitting way. (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 11).

The husband stays with the wife for his own happiness, and she does him many kinds of service. Above all she does not have works that belong to him done by others. Wife and husband keep unity in any talk of using goods and money, and with fitness, grace and energy in carrying out work she wins her husband over (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 12).

To women the husband alone is daiva. Brahmā gives the saying: “To women their husbands, to all varṇas the brāhmaṇas, to brāhmaṇas the agnihotra, to the people the king, are the daivatas” (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 13).

The house and the stores

The housewife’s body, Brahmā says, is divided into two: the house and herself, and the house is set in order first. She cleans the house and decorates it three times a day. In the morning, at midday and at aparāhṇa (afternoon) she sweeps the outside of the house, the middle part and the inner part. Only at night she does not sweep.

She gathers vegetables, roots, fruits, medicinal creepers and seeds in their seasons. All oils, dry wood, sesame powder, the buttermilk-preparation made with urad, the products of milk and the various tubers are stored. Substances for the nitya and naimittika karmas are gathered according to her means, and whatever cannot be had when the need comes is gathered beforehand.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 11

In fine dishes what is wet does harm, and what has dried gains in quality. She reasons out the blights and losses that come from the field, the season and the method of raising. For cutting cotton, cocoons, wool and saura she employs those with crooked hands, the lame, the blind and widowed women. In needful works she employs boys, the old, the blind and the feeble, with suitable gifts. In the gaps between works and when the husband is abroad she may do such daily works herself. She has cloth and grain made under the shelter of the elders who protect her.

Her rule is threefold: keep what has arisen, gather what is kept, sow what is gathered at the proper time. The root of the house is the woman, and the gṛhasthāśrama has grain as its root, so women keep thrift in grain, collect it daily and must not waste it. In many men’s houses the woman has the leading place, and it is no fault for her to direct.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 12

Her day with him

The woman wakes before everyone, does her own duties, sees to the servants, eats and rests. When the husband is not at home she must not step over the threshold and go out. She must not go out without his knowing, by night or by day. When he has woken she provides what he needs, and then does all the household works with great watchfulness. In the house she puts off fine things and wears a dress fit for work. She herself does the cooking for him. To dear ones who come she serves tested food with respect and love. Enemies, those related through kinsmen, and those the husband was angered with, frightened, insulted or abused must not be set to cook. At times of ordinary illness food and drink differ from the daily way. Those whom he sees as lower than himself, equal to himself or above himself, she too regards so when she meets them, or even more. At night, waking from sleep, she instructs him in private and makes him watchful if he is spending wealth or time wrongly. One pained by the husband with harsh words and severe punishment she comforts, and turns back to obedience to him. Whatever he wishes to do, another marriage and the like, she shows readiness for it. Even giving up her own happiness she is favourable to him. When all works are done, then she rests.

When he comes out she makes her dress neat, readies a seat for him and stands attentive for his command. She sends away the maid and herself washes his feet. In food, bath, drink and the like, wherever he turns his glance with longing, she reads the sign and provides it (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 13).

Among co-wives

She treats a co-wife’s children above her own and sees the co-wife as a sister. The Purāṇa’s full teaching on co-wives, on the new bride, and on the younger and the elder wife is told under Strī Dharma (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapters 13–14).

Being dear to him

For women’s gaining of dharma, artha and kāma two causes are appointed: being favourable to the husband, and a śīla that never slips. Not form, youth or ornaments, but being favourable to him is wholesome. Women without age or beauty win his love in this way. Being dear is the first cause of worth, and without it other virtues bear no fruit. The root of worth is to know the minds of others.

She honours the relatives of the co-wives and of the husband, and not so her own, even if it is the husband’s wish, for women the husband’s kula alone is to be honoured. A good man seeks no benefit from his daughter’s side: he adorns her and gives her in marriage as the śāstra says. The bride’s side should receive from the groom’s side only loving regard.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 13

Her good name

She keeps her love for her husband, guards her standing and follows good ways. Though beloved of her husband, though of good śīla, and though her birth-kula had good fame, through lokāpavāda (public blame) Sītā met terrible misfortune. Brahmā says that women’s śīla is hard to know, through enjoyment, want of knowledge and want of modesty, and that women to be named as noted are seen rarely, through a nature not to be grasped, through deceit and through being unchecked. For an ill name arisen without cause the only medicine is a noble character and acting by the way of the world.

She walks by ācāra as it is laid down, for improper friendships and talk shake the kula. She guards the honour of the house of her birth, the house of her marriage, womankind and her children. Through ill conduct the mother’s, the father’s and the husband’s kulas fall along with her, and women whose ornament is noble conduct can uplift them. To one who has these two, being in tune with the husband’s mind and good śīla, gold and gems are only burdens. The woman who duly honours the world and her husband gains dharma, artha and kāma undecaying.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 13

When he is away and when he returns

She works so that the work he began bears fruit. She sleeps near her mother-in-law, the nurse and the elders. She keeps the earning of wealth going and reduces expense. She is intent on vratas and upavāsas and learns the way of each dīkshā. Every day she offers pūjā for his welfare. She wears no bright dress and uses no scented oils. She goes to her relatives only if it is needed, by the elders’ command, with her husband’s protectors, staying only a moment and without bathing there.

When he has come home and finished his bath and meal, she adorns herself well, goes to him gladly and gives him the offerings and prasādas she had earlier offered to daiva, and after he returns she stays as is natural and carries out the duties of the time.

She must not sit on a seat in front of the husband and must not call him. She does not speak with those hostile to him, is friendly with his friends and honours those very close to him. She reports the house’s affairs, gifts and spending to him in private.

Gold, gems and the like brought from her mother and father she lovingly gives to the husband, and only then does it gain its proper use. He too gives her in return a gift of small value, keeps that wealth aside, and uses it only to give back to her, returning it on some special occasion to remove the shame of accepting (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 14).

The woman who so honours her husband, does each work with watchfulness, honours those to be honoured, nourishes servants well and guards her virtues surely enjoys the highest happiness in this world and the next.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 14

The neglected wife

A durbhagā, a wife neglected by her husband, passes her time in upavāsa and such niyamas and in the outer tasks that concern him. She neither praises her co-wives nor blames herself, and shows neither jealousy nor love toward him. She thinks: “That a woman like me has gained the place called wife to such an āyushmān: this itself is greatness.” She is neither wholly without ornaments nor heavily adorned, and she does not take the gandha and flowers that belong to his service. She helps the other wives and their children, even if he does not ask, and keeps the attitude of bowing toward the wife dearest to him. She does the tasks left undone, and she cares for her husband’s children like a nurse, as her own. What she saved in her youth she uses in old age.

By birth no woman is durbhagā or subhagā. Women become durbhagā from three things: not knowing the husband’s mind, failing to act in keeping with his feelings, and conduct against the ways of the world. So in every condition, by mind, word and deed, she follows his mind and does what is dear to him.

Saṃvāhana

A wife should learn real skill in foot service and in pressing the body and the head. She presses deeply, moderately or softly by his bodily condition, watching his face and movements, so that he is at ease.

  • Deep pressure is liked on the arms and shoulders, the thighs, the waist, the back, the upper shoulders, the head and the feet.
  • Moderate pressure is generally given in other places.
  • Soft pressure is given on places without flesh, the roots of the navel, the marma-sthānas, the heart, the places below and beside the ears, and the cheeks.
  • By his state: when he is awake, firmly; half asleep, moderately; asleep, softly. In deep sleep it is better not to press.
  • By the skin: on hairy limbs she presses against the lie of the hair, on ticklish places she presses much, and on smooth places she rubs as she presses.

Each limb is pressed in its proper way either to bring sleep or to kindle affection. The signs of its effect are keeping still, pulakāṅkuras (the bristling of the hair) on all the limbs, half-closed eyes, yielding the pressed places and a visible change of feeling.

The woman who follows this way and serves her husband as worthy of ārādhana obtains dharma, artha and kāma in full.

Source: Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 15

Who is called satī and sādhvī

Brahmā asks who would trust as a satī or a sādhvī a woman who amuses herself with viṭas (paramours), a svairiṇī with no husband, the well-adorned wife of an old or a maimed man, or one attached to journeys and to songs (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 13). Women who are dear, who bring kīrti to the kula, the jewels among sādhvīs, of pure conduct and full of love for the husband, are to be honoured always (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 8).

In the teaching on the lakshaṇas of women, a woman with a whorl at the navel becomes a pativratā, and among the natures of women the Mānushī is one of praiseworthy conduct, with bhakti for gurus, a pativratā, with bhakti for devatās and brāhmaṇas (Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapter 28).

Sources

  • Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa, Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa, Chapters 24–27 (Sītā’s words to Rāma)
  • Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa, Ayodhyā Kāṇḍa, Chapter 117 (Anasūyā’s teaching)
  • Skanda Purāṇa, Brahma Khaṇḍa, Dharmāraṇya Khaṇḍa, Pūrvārdha, Chapter 7
  • Mahābhārata, Anuśāsana Parva, Chapter 146
  • Śiva Purāṇa, Rudra Saṃhitā (Book 2), Pārvatī Khaṇḍa (Section 3), Chapter 54
  • Agni Purāṇa, Chapters 159, 221–223
  • Bhavishya Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapters 8–16, 28
  • Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 3, Chapter 23; Skandha 4, Chapter 23; Skandha 6, Chapters 14, 18–19; Skandha 7, Chapter 11; Skandha 9, Chapter 3; Skandha 10, Chapters 16–17, 29, 60