Vivāha

Vivāha, simply known as Vivaha, Sanskrit: विवाह, Telugu: వివాహం, Hindi: विवाह.

Vivāha is marriage. It is one of the sixteen chief saṃskāras (sacred life-cycle rites) of the dvija (twice-born), and one of the most important of them in the Sanātana Dharma tradition.

The teaching on vivāha covers its eight forms, who may marry whom by varṇa and gotra, the rites of the wedding day, the auspicious and forbidden times for a wedding, and the dharma of husband and wife in married life.

Per Agni Purāṇa

Chapter 154 of the Agni Purāṇa gives the rules of vivāha, taught by Pushkara to Paraśurāma. The chapter covers the eight forms of marriage (ashṭa-vivāha-vidhi), who may marry whom by varṇa, the gotra and pravara rules, the second marriage of a woman, the nakshatras and tithis for the wedding, and the lagna.

Varṇa and marriage

The Purāṇa sets strict rules on varṇa and marriage:

• A brāhmaṇa may marry women of all four varṇas.
• A kshatriya may marry women of three varṇas: kshatriya, vaiśya and śūdra.
• A vaiśya may marry women of two varṇas: vaiśya and śūdra.
• A śūdra must marry only within his own varṇa.

No dharmic karma is to be done with a wife of a different varṇa (asama-varṇa). Dharmic rites such as śrāddha and yajña need only the wife of the same varṇa (sama-varṇa).

At the wedding, the form of the pāṇi-grahaṇa (taking the hand) depends on the bride’s varṇa when a man marries a woman of a lower varṇa (anuloma). A kshatriya bride holds an arrow in the groom’s hand. A vaiśya bride holds a goad or whip in his hand. A śūdra bride holds the hem of the groom’s garment.

Gotra and pravara

A man must not marry a woman of the same gotra or pravara as his father, within seven generations on the father’s side, or as his mother, within five generations on the mother’s side. When those limits have passed, the marriage is allowed.

The eight forms of marriage

The Purāṇa names eight vivāha-vidhis.

1. Brāhma-vivāha

The groom has excellent birth and good conduct (sadācāra). He is invited to the bride’s father’s house, and the father gives the bride freely in kanyā-dāna (the gift of the maiden). The text says the son born of this marriage lifts up the forefathers of both the bride and the groom for many generations. This is the highest and most honoured form.

2. Ārsha-vivāha

The bride’s father takes one cow and one bull from the groom, and then gives the bride in kanyā-dāna. Taking this pair (dharma-vṛshabha) is what sets the Ārsha form apart from the Āsura form, which is done for payment.

3. Prājāpatya-vivāha

The bride is given to the groom simply because he asked for her. This form leads to dharma-siddhi (success in dharma).

4. Āsura-vivāha

The bride’s father takes a śulka (bride-price) and then gives the bride in kanyā-dāna. The text condemns this as an ignoble act (nīca-kṛtya).

5. Gāndharva-vivāha

The bride and groom marry each other by their own wish and agreement.

6. Rākshasa-vivāha

The groom carries off the bride after a battle (yuddha).

7. Paiśāca-vivāha

The groom carries off the bride in secret, or deceives her. This is the form most condemned.

8. Daiva-vivāha

The ṛtvik (priest) who is busy performing a yajña is dressed and honoured, and the bride is given to him in kanyā-dāna as his dakshiṇā within the rite. In this form the bride is given as an offering to the one who stands for the devas.

The wedding ceremony

On the wedding day the potter makes an image of Śacī-devī (Indrāṇī) from clay. At a water-body nearby, this image is worshipped with auspicious music (maṅgala-vādya) and songs. Only then is the bride brought to the house.

Kanyā-dāna happens only once, and it cannot be taken back. If a bride who has been given in marriage is taken back by force, she is treated as stolen property, and the man who takes her back is punished as a thief. Selling a daughter destroys the piety of the giver and of the one who receives her.

Four acts together make a complete vivāha:

1. Kanyā-dāna.
2. Śacī-pūjā (the worship of Śacī-devī).
3. The vivāha ceremony itself.
4. The caturthī-karma, the rite of the fourth day.

When a woman may marry again

The Purāṇa names five cases in which a wife may seek another husband:

1. The husband has gone missing and no one knows where he is.
2. The husband has died.
3. The husband has become a sannyāsin.
4. The husband is a napuṃsaka (unable to father children).
5. The husband has become patita (fallen from dharma).

In these five cases a woman may marry again. If the husband has died, the widow is given to the husband’s younger brother (devara). If he has no younger brother, she may be given to whoever is fitting.

Auspicious times for vivāha

Auspicious nakshatras. The three Uttarās (Uttara-phalgunī, Uttarāshāḍhā and Uttarābhādrapadā), Kṛttikā, Svāti, Mūla and the three Pūrvā nakshatras are good for vivāha. The text also names Mṛgaśira, Maghā, Hasta, Rohiṇī, Anurādhā and Revatī.

Forbidden times.

• The time from Āshāḍha Śukla Ekādaśī to Kārtika Śukla Ekādaśī, when Bhagavān Vishṇu sleeps (śayana).
• The months of Pausha and Caitra.
• Tuesday (Maṅgalavāra).
• The Riktā and Bhadrā tithis.
• When Guru or Śukra is astaṅgata (set, hidden by the Sun’s glare).
• Before a lunar eclipse.
• When Ravi, Śani or Kuja stands in the lagna.
• During Vyatīpāta-yoga.

The lagna. A lagna in a male sign (an odd sign), and its navāṃśa, is auspicious. When Ravi, Śani and Budha stand in the 3rd, 6th, 10th, 11th or 12th bhāva (house) from the lagna, this is śubha. Kuja in the 8th bhāva is aśubha. Other grahas in the 7th, 12th or 8th are auspicious. Śukra in the sixth house is aśubha. The caturthī-karma is also done in a nakshatra that suits a vivāha. The lagna should be free of planets in the 1st, 4th and the houses next to them (sthāna).

Conjugal relations (ṛtu-dharma). These should be kept only on auspicious days that are not parva days. When the parva days are avoided, the blessing of Satī-devī comes, and the couple has lasting happiness.

Per Bhavishya Purāṇa

The Brahma Parva of the Bhavishya Purāṇa gives the fruit of each form of marriage (Chapter 7) and the signs of an auspicious bride (Chapter 5). Chapter 7 also describes the Daiva-vivāha, in which the bride is given to the ṛtvik (priest) as his dakshiṇā within a yajña.

The phala of each form of marriage

Chapter 7 says how many generations the sons of each form of marriage lift up (uddhāra):

Sons born of the first four forms (Brāhma, Daiva, Ārsha and Prājāpatya) have brahma-tejas (the glow of Brahman), good character, beauty, sattva, wealth and long life. Sons born of the last four forms (Āsura, Gāndharva, Rākshasa and Paiśāca) become cruel, hostile to dharma and untruthful.

The Purāṇa also gives a sharp command. Taking a śulka from the groom is the same as selling one’s daughter, and it brings down both sides. Even in the Ārsha form, the gift of the cow is only a sign and must not be treated as a trade. Any clothes or ornaments that the groom’s side gives belong to the bride alone.

Kanyā lakshaṇas: the signs of an auspicious bride

Chapter 5 keeps an old teaching of Brahmā, given to the assembly of ṛshis, on the bodily signs that show whether a bride is auspicious or not. It answers the question: “What signs mark a woman of good signs (śubha-lakshaṇa)?”

Feet. Feet whose soles lie level on the earth, so that no gap shows between sole and ground when she stands, and whose colour is rose-red like the petals of a red lotus, are the most auspicious. They bring bhoga (enjoyment) to the family. Cracked, thin feet with raised veins are signs of poverty and of ill luck.

Toes and nails. Toes that are close together, round, smooth and small, and nails that are round, red at the tip and smooth, mark a woman who will become a rājamahishī (chief queen) or have great wealth. Toes set wide apart reduce wealth. Nails of many colours, or cracked in the middle, are inauspicious.

Hands. Deep, soft, rose-coloured lines on the palms show bhoga and enjoyment. One unbroken line running from the little finger to the index finger shows long life. Hands that are rough, uneven in size or cracked show hardship. Lines on the wrist (maṇibandha) that are clear, strong and three in number show prosperity that lasts.

Neck. A neck with three clear lines across it (rekhā) is the sign of a woman who will inherit great wealth. A weak or thin neck shows poverty. A very long neck shows a woman with many attachments. A very short neck shows danger to her children.

Nose and eyebrows. A nose that is neither too short nor too long, neither too broad nor too pinched, but even and straight, is the sign of saubhāgya (good fortune). Eyebrows that are shaped like a bow and do not meet in the middle, that are neither thick nor thin, and are dark and smooth, are auspicious. With dark, thick, smooth hair, they mark a woman of lasting saubhāgya.

The Purāṇa adds that in every case the inner qualities of śīla (good conduct) and dharma-śraddhā (faith in dharma) are the deeper base. These bodily signs are read as reflections of the puṇya (merit) the ātmā has gathered.

Per Vishṇu Dharmottara Purāṇa

Chapter 87 of the second part (Dvitīya Khaṇḍa) of the Vishṇu Dharmottara Purāṇa, called the Dharma-varṇana, gives Pushkara’s full teaching on vivāha.

The chapter covers how many wives are allowed for each varṇa (social class), the rules that forbid marriage within the same gotra (family lineage) or among close relatives (sapiṇḍas), the eight forms of vivāha with the merits and faults of each, the Śacī-pūjā performed before the ceremony, the auspicious and inauspicious times for marriage, and the dharmic conduct of husband and wife within marriage.

Number of Wives by Varṇa

Pushkara begins with the greatest number of wives allowed for each varṇa:

• Brāhmaṇa: four (one from each varṇa, in descending order)
• Kshatriya: three
• Vaiśya: two
• Śūdra: one

A brāhmaṇa’s wives from varṇas other than his own are called asamavarṇa (of unequal varṇa). There is an important limit: all dharmic rites and religious ceremonies must be done only with the samavarṇa wife, the wife of the same varṇa. The asamavarṇa wife is recognised only for rati (pleasure). The ācāryas (teachers) do not count the garbhādhāna (the rite for conceiving a child) done with her as a proper dharmic rite, a fine point Pushkara keeps from the Smṛti tradition.

At the pāṇigrahaṇa (the taking of the bride’s hand), brides of different varṇas hold different objects. The kshatriya bride holds an arrow (śara), the vaiśya bride holds a whip or goad (pratoda), and the śūdra bride holds the hem of a garment (the border cloth).

Gotra and Sapiṇḍa Rules

Marriage is forbidden within certain degrees of kinship:

• Gotra: no marriage with someone of the same gotra
• Sagnikeya: no marriage with someone who shares the same line of sacred fire (yajñāgni)
• Father’s line: the couple must be at least seven generations apart on the father’s side
• Mother’s line: at least five generations apart on the mother’s side

A man who seeks good in both this world and the next (ubhaya-loka-kāma) should choose a bride of good character (śīla) and auspicious qualities who meets these conditions.

Firm Rules About the Bride

There are several firm rules about the kanyā (the unmarried maiden):

• A kanyā may be given in marriage only once; she is to be given to one groom alone.
• One who carries off a kanyā by force deserves the punishment for theft.
• Selling a daughter is a pāpa (wrong) of the gravest kind. The “kesava-vikrayī” (one who sells the womb) falls into twenty-one kinds of naraka (realms of punishment), with no way of atonement.
• The pāpa of selling one’s children has no prāyaścitta (rite of atonement).

The Eight Forms of Vivāha

Pushkara lists the eight classic forms of marriage:

1. Brāhma: the bride, adorned and honoured, is given to a man of good family and character, with no gift taken in return. A child born of this marriage can uplift twenty-one generations of both families.
2. Daiva: the bride is given to a ṛtvik (a purohita who conducts Vedic rites) as part of a yajña (sacred fire offering). This is itself counted as a yajña. A child born of it can uplift three generations.
3. Ārsha: the groom gives a bull and a cow (go-mithuna) to the bride’s family as a token, not as a price. The marriage is then carried out according to the śāstra.
4. Prājāpatya: the bride’s family says to the groom, “May you both practise dharma together,” and the marriage is carried out under this charge.
5. Āsura: the groom pays money (śulka) and takes the bride. Pushkara plainly calls this adharma.
6. Gāndharva: the man and woman freely choose each other. It is kāma-pradhāna, led by desire.
7. Rākshasa: the groom carries off the bride by force after a battle. This is lawful for kshatriyas.
8. Paiśāca: the woman deceives her parents and marries herself off in secret.

How they are judged by varṇa. The Brāhma and Prājāpatya forms are ideal for couples of the same varṇa and are praised. The Daiva form suits brāhmaṇas alone. The Gāndharva and Rākshasa forms are lawful for kshatriyas. The Āsura form is adharma.

The Śacī-Pūjā Before the Wedding

Before the vivāha, the Śacī-yāga is to be performed. At the vivāha-muhūrta (the chosen time of the wedding), as the moon is rising, a skilled potter makes a clay image of Śacī Devī (Indrāṇī) with every auspicious feature.

Auspicious women (puṇya-strīs), dressed in red garments dyed with kusumbha (safflower) and wearing ornaments, carry this image in procession to a lake or river. There they offer mālya (garlands), naivedya (food offerings), dhūpa (incense), dīpa (lamps) and garments, and make bali offerings in every direction. Then they bring Śacī into the home with songs, music and Vedic blessings (svastivācana). Śacī Devī then receives pūjā three times a day with gandha (sandal paste), garlands and food, and is saluted at the time of the wedding ceremony itself.

Vivāha Muhūrta: Auspicious Times

Times When Marriage Is Forbidden

• The four months of Vishṇu’s sleep (cāturmāsya)
• The months of Pausha and Caitra
• The first Monday and Tuesday of months
• The kṛshṇa paksha (dark fortnight) from the fifth day on; the śukla paksha (bright fortnight) from the fifth day up to ekādaśī (the eleventh day); and the new-moon day (amāvāsyā)
• The period of vishṭi-karaṇa
• When Guru (Jupiter) or Śukra (Venus) is combust, too close to the sun (mauḍhya)
• When the moon is setting, or other planets are in opposition
• When Saturn, the Sun and Mars are together in the same nakshatra (lunar star-group)
• Vyatīpāta-yoga
• During signs in the sky such as meteors, eclipses and comets
• When Rāhu is in the ascendant

Auspicious Nakshatras for Marriage

• Mṛgaśira (Saumya)
• Maghā (Pitrya)
• Svāti (Vāyavya)
• Hasta (Sāvitra)
• The three Uttarās: Uttarāshāḍhā, Uttaraphalgunī and Uttarabhādrapadā
• Mūla
• Anurādhā (Maitra)
• Revatī (Paushṇa)

Within these nakshatras, the 11th and 8th muhūrtas (divisions of the day) are especially praised; the text calls them ābhinitti-muhūrtas.

Lagnas (Rising Signs)

A mānushya-lagna (a “human” rising sign) is preferred for marriage. Even if the lagna as a whole has non-human qualities, its human portion (mānushyāṃśa) is favourable. Planets in the 3rd, 6th, 10th and 11th houses are praśasta (favourable); Mars in the 8th house is not. Having no planets in the 7th, 8th or 9th house is considered good for marriage.

Conduct After Marriage

After marriage, the husband should approach his wife at ṛtukāla (her fertile time), and never on parva days (sacred days of the lunar month). He should remember that the gift of rati was given to women as a vara (boon) for all time, and he should not override his wife’s rights without reason. Neither partner should wrong the other without cause. Ādhi-vedana, taking another spouse while the first is living, is forbidden unless there is a particular reason.

Grounds for Ādhi-Vedana (a Husband Remarrying)

A wife who is barren, chronically ill or quarrelsome, who bears only daughters, who speaks unkindly, or who refuses to do her household duties may be superseded. She must still be cared for and supported. The wife who has been superseded (adhivinnā) must be especially protected and respected; she must never be neglected.

The Senior Wife in Dharmic Rites

In all dharmic activities, it is the senior (jyeshṭhā) wife who is to take part. Dharma and adharma are shared equally between husband and wife. For a dharmic man, his wife is his companion in dharma, and she is to be protected every day by the grace of Bhagavān Hari.

The Purushārthas in Married Life

Together with his wife, the householder rightly upholds and protects all three purushārthas (goals of life): dharma (right living), artha (wealth) and kāma (the fulfilment of desire).

Sources

• Agni Mahā Purāṇa, Chapter 154
• Bhavishya Mahā Purāṇa, Brahma Parva, Chapters 5, 7
• Vishṇu Dharmottara Purāṇa, Uttarārdha (Dvitīya Khaṇḍa), Chapter 87