Dama: Self-Restraint as the Highest Dharma
Dama, “self-restraint”
Dama has other meanings too: see all meanings of Dama.
Dama means self-restraint: calm, steady control over the senses, over sudden urges, and over the movements of the mind. In Chapter 160 of the Mahābhārata‘s Śānti Parva, in the section called the Āpaddharma Parva (teachings on dharma in times of crisis), dama is named the foremost of all dharmas.
The teaching does not treat dama as just one good quality among many. It is the ground on which every other good quality stands. Without dama, a person cannot keep up tapas (austerity), dāna (giving), yajña (sacred offering) or brahmacarya (self-discipline). The text describes dama through eighteen qualities which, taken together, show what it means to have this virtue fully.
In the Agni Purāṇa, Śrī Rāma names dama among the qualities that bring prosperity to a king, and teaches that the senses must be held in check with the goad of jñāna (knowledge).
In the Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Bhagavān Kṛshṇa tells Uddhava that dama is the restraint of the senses, and Sanatkumāra names it with ahiṃsā and śama among the dharmas of the paramahaṃsas, kept by the sādhaka whose goal is jīvanmukti.
Dama as the Foundation of Dharma
The Āpaddharma Parva calls dama the highest dharma in a particular sense: it is the quality that makes every other good practice possible and lets it last. A person with dama:
- Does not give up his dharma even under great pressure (āpadkāla, a time of crisis)
- Does not step beyond the bounds of satya (truth), even when it would be easier to do so
- Does not give in to kāma (desire), krodha (anger) or lobha (greed), even when provoked
Without dama, the other virtues are shaky. Dāna given with greed inside is not true dāna. Yajña performed to make oneself look great is not true yajña. Tapas done while the mind wanders freely is not true tapas. Dama gives the inner stillness and self-control in which every sincere practice of dharma can take place.
The Eighteen Qualities of Dama
The Śānti Parva lists eighteen qualities that together make up dama in its full form:
- Akrodha: freedom from anger; not being stirred into rage
- Satya: truth in speech and in action
- Avyāja: freedom from pretence and deceit
- Mārdava: gentleness, a soft approach
- Hrī: natural modesty, and shame at doing wrong
- Titikshā: forbearance, the ability to bear hardship without breaking
- Anahaṅkāra: freedom from pushing one’s ego forward
- Tapas: austerity, in the sense of bearing discomfort without complaint
- Brahmacarya: control of desire and energy
- Tyāga: renunciation, the willingness to let go of attachment
- Ahiṃsā: non-violence in thought, word and deed
- Samabhāva: evenness of mind, feeling the same inside in gain and in loss
- Śama: calmness of mind
- Ārjava: straightforwardness, not being crooked
- Anudvega: not stirring up trouble or worry in others
- Dayā: compassion for all beings
- Apaiśuna: freedom from slander and backbiting
- Akārpaṇya: freedom from meanness and small-mindedness
Dama and Kings
In the setting of the Āpaddharma Parva, dama matters especially for kings. A king who has dama:
- Does not use the power of his position for his own pleasure
- Uses daṇḍa (punishment) with careful judgement, not in anger
- Listens to his ministers and advisers with a truly open mind, instead of just waiting to push his own view
- Makes decisions from a place of calm, not from agitation
In the background of the whole passage stands the opposite kind of king, one ruled by lobha (greed) or krodha (anger). The Āpaddharma teachings for kings speak directly to those moments when a lack of dama would lead to ruinous choices.
Per Agni Purāṇa
In the Agni Purāṇa, Agni Deva tells Vasishṭha Maharshi the rāja-nīti that Śrī Rāma taught Lakshmaṇa, which gives victory. Śrī Rāma teaches that the root of naya (right policy) is vinaya (discipline), that vinaya comes from certainty in the śāstras, and that vinaya means the conquest of the senses (indriya-jaya).
He names the qualities that are causes of prosperity, in this order: knowledge of the śāstras, buddhi with its eight guṇas, dhṛti (steadfastness), skill, boldness, the power of retention, utsāha (energy), the power of speech, firmness, the power of command, purity, friendliness, tyāga (liberality), satya, gratitude, noble birth, śīla (good character) and dama (self-restraint).
The senses, says Śrī Rāma, are elephants running fearlessly in the great forest of the sense-objects. They must be held in control with the goad of jñāna. The king becomes happy if he wholly gives up the group of inner enemies, named here as kāma (desire), krodha (anger), lobha (greed), moha (delusion), harsha (elation), mada (pride), mātsarya (jealousy) and māna (arrogance).
Source: Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 238
Per Bhāgavata Purāṇa
Dama in Śrī Kṛshṇa’s teaching to Uddhava
Uddhava asked Bhagavān Kṛshṇa the true meaning of the words of dharma, and of their opposites, aśama and adama. Śrī Kṛshṇa answered word by word, giving each its full sense: śama is the buddhi being steadfast in him; dama is the restraint of the senses; titikshā is bearing sorrow patiently; dhṛti is conquering the tongue and the organ of generation; the great dāna is not harming living beings, the gift of fearlessness; tapas is giving up desires; valour is victory over one’s own nature, such as anger; satya is seeing the Paramātmā everywhere; śauca is having no sense of being the doer. He closed by saying that to look for merit and fault is itself the fault, and to stand beyond them is the true merit.
Source: Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 11, Chapter 19
Dama among the dharmas of the paramahaṃsas
Maitreya Maharshi tells Vidura how the four Kumāras came to King Pṛthu‘s sabhā and Sanatkumāra taught him the means of welfare: vairāgya towards the world and firm nishṭhā in the nirguṇa Parabrahma as one’s own ātmā. The sādhaka, he said, should live keeping ahiṃsā, śama, dama and the other dharmas of the paramahaṃsas, with jīvanmukti as his goal, and drink the supreme nectar of the līlās of Śrī Hari. He should keep the five yamas (ahiṃsā, satya, asteya, brahmacarya and aparigraha) and the five niyamas (śauca, santosha, tapas, svādhyāya and surrender to Īśvara) without desire for fruit, bearing the pairs of opposites with an even mind; such a sādhaka gains the direct experience of the ātmā and becomes a jīvanmukta.
Source: Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 4, Chapter 22
Sources
- Mahābhārata, Śānti Parva, Āpaddharma Parva, Chapter 160
- Agni Purāṇa, Chapter 238
- Bhāgavata Purāṇa, Skandha 4, Chapter 22; Skandha 11, Chapter 19