15 - The Duties of the Householder 

The stage of householder being the main stay of the subsistence of other ashramas (stages) in life, has been considered as the best Ashrama at least since the old Sutra period (Gautama III. 3, Manu III. 77-78, Mbh. Shanti. 270.6-7). Hence the duties (dharmas) of householders are discussed in details in Smrutis, Puranas and digests on Dharma-shastra. For example, vide Manu IV. 33 ff. Yajnavalkya I.96-127, NP. I. 26.3-27, VP. III. 9.7-16, Pd. P. Svarga 54.2-42, SMC, Parashara-Madhava (āchārakānda) and others. 

The highest compliment paid to this Ashrama is by the ancient Sūtrakāras Gautama III.1 & 35 and Baudhayana (Dh. S. II.6.29.42-43) who emphatically state that this is the only one real Aśhrama (aikaśhramyam tvāchāryāh) 

Vyāsa said:

I. O excellent Brähmaņas, a Brāhmaṇa should obtain (i.e., learn well), one, two or all the four Vedas. After studying them and comprehending the meanings, he should perform the ablution (signifying the conclusion of the period of religious studentship). 

2. After giving the fees to the preceptor, he should perform the concluding) ablution with his (guru's) permission.1 One who is self-possessed and has performed all the rites (prescribed vows of Brahmacharya) becomes capable and hence deserves the the holy ablution. 

1. Āśhvalāyana Gr. S. III. 9.4. 

3. He should hold the staff of bamboo. He should wear the under cloth and the upper garment. He should have two sacred threads, a water-pot (Kamandalu) with water.2 

2. V. 3-8 deal with Snataka-dharmas (duties of those who completed their studies and desire to be householders vide Manu IV 34 ff. 

4. He should have an umbrella, an immaculately clean turban, sandals and shoes and golden earing and the Veda. He should be cleanly shaven, with nails clipped and thus shall be scrupulously clean. 

5. He should continuously be engaged in the self-study of the Vedas. He should not wear garland outside. A Brāhmaņa shall not wear a red garland except that of Kāñchana flowers. 

6. He should wear white garments every day. He should use perfumes and appear neat and pleasing. If he has enough means, he should not wear old dirty clothes. 

7. He should not wear red clothes or those of gaudy colours. Nor should he use the following things used by others: The cloth, the water-pot, leather shoes, garland sandals. 

8. (He should not wear the following used by others, viz.: the sacred thread, ornaments as well as the skin of a black antelope. He should not wear the garment in the apasavya way (on the right shoulder and below the left arm) nor should he wear a loathsome garments. 

9. He should duly marry a girl similar to him (in caste?) of auspicious characteristics, beauty and features and suitable to him, she should not have any defect in her reproductory organs. 

10. A Brāhmaṇa should accept as wife a girl who is not born in the gotra of his mother1 and should be born in the gotra dissimilar to his sage (his gotra) and who is endowed with purity (cleanliness) and good character. 

1. This shows that the author is probably a north-Indian or a Madhyandin. 

11. He should go unto his wife only on those nights (sanctioned by scripture) after the monthly menses till the conception of a son. He shall scrupulously avoid the forbidden days. 

12. He shall observe the vow of celibacy and control over his senses on the sixth, eighth, twelfth, fourteenth and fifteenth days of the lunar fortnight. 

13. He should maintain the Avasathya fire (i.e., one of the five sacred fires to be kept in the house and used in sacrifices). He shall perform Homa in the sacrificial fire. A Snātaka (house-holder) should observe all holy vows. 

14. He should actively perform everyday his duty as ordained by the Vedas. By not doing so, he immediately becomes fallen and goes to terrible hells. 

15. Pure in body and mind, he should daily practise the recitation of the Vedas. He should perform the holy rites as mentioned in the Gruhyasūtras as well as the Sandhyā worship. 

16. He should cultivate friendship with persons of equal and superior status. He should always worship Ishvara. He shall attain the blessings of deities. He should bedeck his wife with ornaments. 

17. He should not loudly proclaim his religious acts nor should he conceal his sinful activities; he should always do those things that increase his welfare and be sympathetic towards all living beings.2 

2. In fact VV. 17 onward form a part of Sadāchāra. 

18. He should always perform activities and speech suitable to and becoming in accordance with his age, duties, learning, nobility of birth, intellect and the Vedic injunctions. 

19. He should resort to that way of life which has been invariably followed by good men, and ordained by the Shrutis and the Smrutis. He should not wish for anything contrary to it. 

20. That path through which one's fathers and grand-fathers have gone should be followed by one. That is the path of the good. Going by that path, one shall cross the ocean of worldly existence. 

21. He should regularly recite passages from (one's branch of) the Vedas. He should always wear the sacred thread. One who is truthful in speech and who has conquered anger, deserves to realise Brahman. 

22. He who is interested in the performance of ablutions and Sandhya-prayers every day, who is devoted to Brahmayajna rite; the householder who is not malicious, who is soft and self-controlled, flourishes in heaven after death. 

23. A householder devoid of passion, fear and fury, who is free from covetousness and delusion, who performs Shrāddhas and who is always engaged in the Japa of the Shavitri Mantra, is liberated. 

24. He who is engaged in the welfare of his parents, is interested in the well-being of cows and Brāhmaṇas, has his senses subjected, performs Yajñas and is a devotee of Devas, is honoured in the Brahmaloka. 

25. He should always be engaged in the realisation of the three aims of life (Virtue, love and wealth), should perform worship of the deities; he shall be pure in the mind and body and bow to the gods every day. 

26. One cannot be called a Gruhastha (householder) merely because one has a house to live in. He who temperamentally always shares everything with others, is endowed with forgiveness and mercy, deserves to be called a householder. 

27. These are the characteristic features of a Brāhmana viz: forbearance, mercy, perfect knowledge, truthfulness, mental control and control over the sense-organs and interest in the spiritual knowledge.

28. An excellent Brahmana specially shall not err from all these. He should perform his duties in accordance with his capacity; and shall avoid all prohibited and censured activities. 

29. No one need entertain any doubt for the fact that if a householder, eschewing the confused state of delusion, attains the excellent Yoga, he is liberated from the bondage of Samsara. 

30. Forbearance is the ability to endure the defects originating from others' anger, such as censure, transgression defiance, violence, imprisonment and killing. 

31. The sages say that kindness is that mercifulness due to friendship (gentleness of heart) in regard to miseries of others in the same way as (in the case of) one's own miseries. It is a direct means of Dharma (piety). 

32. The actual retention in memory of the fourteen lores should be known as Vijñāna (perfect knowledge. It is there by that Dharma flourishes. 

33. If, after duly studing the Vedas and comprehending the meanings, one is averse to religious activities, that (which he has acquired) is not considered to be Vijñāna (perfect knowledge). 

34. One conquers the worlds through Satya (Truth); Truth is the excellent region. Learned men explain that the narration in the same order in which something has happened is truthfulness. 

35. Dama is the subjugation of the body. Shama originates from the clarity of intellect. Adhyatma (spirituality should be known as that imperishable attainment which one does not regret. 

36. That learning whereby the supreme lord Mahadeva himself is known, is glorified as Jñana (knowledge). 

37. The learned person who is absolutely devoted to him, wise, always free from anger and pure, is interested in the five) "great sacrifices, becomes one with that supreme Deity. 

38. One should maintain one's physical body with great effort as it is the abode of Dharma. Without one's physical body, Rudra, the greatest lord, cannot be known by men. 

39. A Brahmana should invariably be engaged in Dharma (Virtue), Artha (Wealth) and Kama (Love). He should never mentally conceive of that type of love or wealth which is devoid of Dharma. 

40. Even if one perishes due to practice of Virtue, one should never take to Adharma. Dharma is the Lord himself. It is the goal of all creatures. 

41. One shall always be pleasing to all living beings; he should never think of doing acts of injury against others. One should never censure the Vedas nor the deities. One should not even associate with those people (who do so). 

42. The pure Brahmana who invariably reads this chapter on Dharma, teaches it or narrates it (to others) is honoured in the Brahmaloka.